Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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