My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
