does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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