This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
