fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
