How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.