Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss

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  (516): I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss http://tfl.nu/w0b9
  Replies (34) Good night (5871) Bad night (1435)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.

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  (231): I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/w091
  Replies (6) Good night (547) Bad night (3952)
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  (714): View more from California

  20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"

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  (714): 20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!" http://tfl.nu/w8i5
  Replies (33) Good night (5846) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.

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  (216): The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again. http://tfl.nu/9v1i
  Replies (45) Good night (4925) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.

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  (419): He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/bo6z
  Replies (23) Good night (930) Bad night (7474)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness

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  (617): I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness http://tfl.nu/m7sl
  Replies (21) Good night (5765) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.

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  (919): Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride. http://tfl.nu/6akp
  Replies (4) Good night (6763) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.

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  (401): I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails. http://tfl.nu/8vyo
  Replies (10) Good night (3869) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dangr zzzzzzzzone

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  (610): Dangr zzzzzzzzone http://tfl.nu/qvjb
  Replies (8) Good night (2006) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam

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  (530): it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam http://tfl.nu/24cr
  Replies (4) Good night (3282) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"

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  (352): The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again" http://tfl.nu/25pr
  Replies (6) Good night (3724) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?

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  (516): How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted? http://tfl.nu/oqcu
  Replies (9) Good night (603) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.

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  (256): Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool. http://tfl.nu/26ob
  Replies (4) Good night (256) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.

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  (901): The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand. http://tfl.nu/pvju
  Replies (5) Good night (877) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.

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  (787): The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared. http://tfl.nu/3l2w
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (548)

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