first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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