you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
