Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
