like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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