She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
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I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
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P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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