physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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