But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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