I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
