believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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