i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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