i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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