after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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