ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
