He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you traded sex for a burrito?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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