I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
