Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
