I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It's Friday. Sex?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
