You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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