I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
