is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
