birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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