You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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