Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
