Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
