marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
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I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize