I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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