Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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