can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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