i barfeds in our rink
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
