I just pynch a tree in the face
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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