I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
