D3 body, D1 cock
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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