his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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