I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
