sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So. Much. Porn.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
