nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
