Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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