Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think i have two assholes
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
