can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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