is your mom at the bar?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
