I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
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Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize