i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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