i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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