so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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