Pants 0. Shit 1.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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