okay pat passed out under dana's car
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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