I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize