i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
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You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
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I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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