...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I forgot wine drunk hurts
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
