I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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