Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
