Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i believe in u and ur pee
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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