I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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