i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
