I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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