my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
