Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the day after is always just damage control
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
