Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
