New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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