The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm determined to sit on that face.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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