i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
