So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
