i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
